The Freshman Apocalypse.

Tonight was the end of a very special moment in history: the end of The Hills.

What will the world do without shifty-eyed glances, conversations full of confusion, and girl-on-girl drama all over catchy tunes? The world just might not go on.

Here’s the kicker. At the end of the show Brody (whom I like to call Grody) walked away from Kristen as she was leaving for “Europe” outside her LA home… Or so we thought. Suddenly the skies shifted and the clouds opened. Sunlight beamed in from behind the FAKE TREES. The scene walls were moved away. Is this some sort of sick joke?!

I think it has become clear to all of those with a functioning brain that Laguna Beach, The Hills, and The City (how did Lauren Conrad do all that?) have all been scripted to some point. However, to what point? Was Heidi and Spencer’s marriage a clever ruse? Was Heidi’s plastic surgery a fat mask like the one Mrs. Doubtfire wore? I feel so betrayed.

While living in my beloved college town this summer, I have discovered something that I have never been so aware of. Freshmen.

These creepy crawlers are everywhere. Perhaps it is my own fault for taking a Journalism 101 class the summer before my senior year, but I’m telling you, they know something. They’re just like the squirrels frolicking around campus; waiting for the perfect moment to attack.

I have spotted these children everywhere I look. In class, on campus, at the gym, at the bar (I’m pretty sure you aren’t 21), and even through the drive-through at McDonalds. I’m pretty sure if there were a nuclear war attack, they would all survive… Like cockroaches. What gets me more than anything is that they aren’t active; all they do is stand around and look. Last time I looked it up, you were supposed to move your body when you’re at the gym, not just look around at the sorority t-shirts every other girl has on.

I would like to note that YES, I do understand that I was a freshman and YES I was just as clueless as they are. However, I tried to blend in, which I feel, they are not attempting. The main reason I am irritated with these little ones is because they spend too many minutes wasting my time. I don’t have fifteen extra minutes that I would like to spend in my class explaining to these creatures how the collegiate website works. This, in turn, is a waste of my money. Time is money. I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind.